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By Jane Wenham-Jones

100 precious and hilarious advice for struggling with the flab and looking out your most sensible from Jane Wenham-Jones, best-selling writer and columnist.

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Extra info for 100 Ways to Fight the Flab: The Wannabe Guide to a Better Bottom

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Some people run to the Old Church, but more run to the new fantasy churches they are bringing in from the West, or to soothsayers, millenarians, out-for-a-quick-buck visionaries, self-flagellants. Nobody knows what to believe or whom to trust. “If I can save just one human being . ” I fling the J-cloth at him. It lands wetly in his lap. “Pappa, haven’t you tied yourself up in some ideological knots here? Valentina and her husband were party members. They were prosperous and powerful. They did all right under communism.

It’s just that I noticed the top note was a fifty. When you go to the bank to draw money out, they don’t usually give you fifties. They give you tens or twenties. ” He frowns with concentration into the bending road. ” He pulls to a halt abruptly outside a red telephone booth in a village. I see him fumbling for coins, dialling, talking, feeding the coin box, talking some more. Then he comes back to the car. ” “In the envelope. Eighteen hundred pounds. ” “Poor old fool. ” We drive on. It is Sunday night, and there are few other cars on the road.

Resting with Jesus . . In eternity . . A mole has been busy at work alongside the gravediggers, turning up mounds of earth here and there. There is a molehill above my mother’s grave. I like to think of the sleek black mole snuggled up with her down below in the dark. At her funeral, the vicar said she was in heaven, but she knew she was going down here into the ground, to be eaten by worms. ) My mother understood about life and death. Once she brought a dead rabbit home from market, and skinned and gutted it on the kitchen table.

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